Wu Wei

I must admit that when I heard this principal in class, it was hard to take in. Probably because it goes against everything that I think a successful human being ought to be. That is, proactive, self motivated, and a bit ambitious(but not to a malicious intent). Wu Wei, however, smelled strongly of "Go with the flow." Which it is.

However, by the end of class, and from what I've read, Its a lot more complicated than that.

Wu wei does not mean you dull your mind a bask in laziness. It means that you try and conform to your Toa. Which, translated into mary, means waiting untill you can see clearly the road that brings the most peace and joy.

I love the flowing water image best though. How a simple stream lets gravity take it down hill, and yet it wears and smooths rocks. Just considering what the water, or the rocks, could sybolize was something fun for me to think about.

losing things

I hate losing things. Or, more accurately, I hate looking for things.

I woke up a half an hour early today so that I would have time to write for creative writing. Then I discovered that had lost my necktie. I have now spent the last half an hour looking for it. A half an hour of digging through our junk drawer, under beds, through piles of dirty clothes, in my back pack, and other such pleasant places.

My brothers and sisters are now having pleasant dreams of my demise because I woke them up to ask them about it. They weren't helpful anyway. They simple confirmed over and over again that it was on the counter. Which is where I originally supposed it to be.

So I still havent found it. I stopped looking for it because I was beggining to get so upset I was looking throught that same counter over and over. Chanting that same line "It has to be here, It has to be here." There has been no maraculous AHA moment for me. Instead I shall buy a new one once I get to school. Then when I get home today I'll probably find it in my pocket or some such place. I so hate losing things.

On homework and writing

Lately, if I find the time to do anything not school related, I think I must be forgetting something. Then I spend the next few minutes fretting over my planner, trying to see homework assignments that aren't there. Sad huh?

However, I have to say that it is getting better. The homework load is still the same, but I'm getting faster.

I've learned to accept my work the way I do it the first time. Which is practically torture for me sometimes. Especially with my twisted fairy tale. I don't like sharing my work, even with my family, before its perfect. So you can imagine how I felt turning in a very rough piece to a teacher. The only way i got through it was by saying to myself. "There's another draft, there's another draft."

Even writing it was difficult. One of my greatest weaknesses is that I give up. I think of a good idea, but if I can't get it down just right then I stop trying. With writing on a schedule I was forced to put it down the best I could at that moment. Then come back to it later. I think I learned a lot from that.

The Koran: Joseph

Reading the Koran was a very interesting experience. Especially reading the story of Joseph. It felt like a completely different story only with the same...plot line.

There were some things that were taken out (At least from the version I know) and some things that were explored in further detail. For example, the coat wasn't even mentioned if I recall correctly. While the parts with the wife and Joseph were much more detailed.

I wouldn't say that I enjoyed this version of the story, but I did find it interesting. It seemed to back up Muslim belief. Just as my King James version of the story backs up my own beliefs. Naturally I prefer my version, because of its messages and familiarity to me. However I still found the korans version very interesting.

These are two poems I wrote very recently. However first I would like to put the disclaimer that I am not a poet and therefore these are far from perfect. However I had a good time writing them and thought I would share.

Left

The one day I need it,
I leave it.

The one moment I have to read it,
Its home.

The one day it rains,
I’m in shorts.

The one time I give an answer,
I’m wrong.

I always have everything that I don’t need.

Life can be such bucket of mud.

What I learned from cooking lessons

How grating a large hunk of cheese wears out your strength,
And grating a small hunk wears out your fingers.

The gooey satisfaction of immersing ones fingers into raw eggs to cover a piece of chicken,
And the covered, trapped feeling as your fingers and chicken get caked with breadcrumbs.

How to most efficiently have a peeling race, learning (Usually the hard way) to do it away from ones body to minimize,
But not eliminate, injuries.

I discovered peanut butter and cheddar-grilled sandwiches.
I discovered that the difference between one teaspoon and one tablespoon is everything.
And that only mom can measure by sight.

I learned that most every step is important,
That every ingredient adds something,
That sometimes you have to throw it out and start all over.

Therefore I have learned that I like toast,
Scrambled eggs and add water only pancakes
Frozen lasagnas, chicken bouillon cubes,
Fruit, leftovers, macaroni and cheese.
Anything that requires less then an hours preparation.

What to write?

Well my paper of idea's on what to write now has many pretty designs, but, unfortunately, no idea's. So I am going to write about how I cannot think of anything to write.

Trying to write when you can't think of anything is like forcing your foot into a shoe a size smaller than you are, possible, but extremely unpleasant and frustrating. So I have been limping across the keyboard for a little while now, wincing as every footfall yields disastrous results. Perhaps needlessly, I must say that this does not make me very happy.

Changing rules

It is funny how the rules change when you get older.

I learned this as my brother Jonah dropped a marshmellow.

"You know you have to eat that now." My dad said. Jonah smiled sheepishly as he reached down and picked it up.

My sister Heidi laughed and said "When your little everyone always tells you. Don't eat that! Its yucky!" She said. "But when your a teenager its. You drop it you eat it."

It's a funny concept. I wonder how many other rules have changed and I havent noticed?

A horrible dream

On Saturday my Uncle Zach let me borrow the most precious thing he owned. An advanced, author signed, not for sale, copy of the final installment in my favorite series. A book that, when he first got it, he told me he would let me read if and only if I was sitting at his kitchen table with gloves on. To me these conditions were generous. I probably would have wrapped it in bubble wrap and locked it in a safe had it been mine.

This is why I was so shocked when he handed it to me Saturday afternoon smiling. "I am going to let you borrow this book because I trust you." He said. I laughed, knowing he was serious but hardly daring to believe it. "I don't trust me that much." I said, but as I said it my fingers curled around the smooth, thick, paper back cover, unwilling to part.

"Books are meant to be read." He insisted. Then proceeded to try and reassure me by pointing out a nearly invisible imprint he had made with his finger on the front cover. I thought back to all of my most beloved books and shivered. I looked regretfully down at the the book in my hands, knowing I aught to wait until it came out and I had my own copy. I took in the picture on the front cover, it was the kind of cover that stirred up a hundred questions.

This time I would be more careful.

I handled the book gingerly the rest of the day. Treating it as if it were precious Christmas tree ornament. The only time I wasn't nervous about it was when I was caught up within it. Of course it didn't help that every time one of my siblings or parents saw me with it they would get wide eyed and say something along the lines of. "He let YOU borrow it?" Or "He must not have liked it that much."

When I finally climbed into bed that night I was feeling rather proud of myself. I had made it through the whole day and the book was as right as rain. I placed it gently on my bedside table before settling in to sleep and, in this case, dream.

Who knew there were so many ways to destroy a book? I spent the entire night dreaming up violent ends for the it! It fell off cliffs, got acid spilled all over it and was taken by the honey covered fingers of my two year old sister. The dream ended with me showing the book to my uncle.

I leapt out of bed the next morning only to find it sitting calmly where I had left it. Sweeter relief there never was.

I considered giving it back to my uncle for a short moment before plunking down in a soft chair and starting where I had left off.

Violins

My brother and sister are both starting the violin. My ears already ache.

Don't get me wrong, the violin is a very beautiful instrument when played correctly. In fact it is my favorite, and definitely the most romantic, of all instruments. However it is also a very effective torture device in the hands of a novice.

So hopefully they are both fast learners so that the screeching will cease.

Either way its going to be a long week.